Avoiding Your Bank Account Is Breaking You
- Megan Dee Ann
- May 9
- 4 min read
Updated: May 10
Why Playing Peek-a-Boo With Your Finances Increases Stress — and How to Interrupt the Cycle With Structure and Peace
Remember the peek-a-boo game?
You’re not there if I can’t see you! It’s a fun game to play with babies, right?
Eventually, as our brains develop, we learn something called object permanence—the understanding that people, objects, and “things” still exist even when we can’t see them. It’s one of the first skills we learn as babies, and it helps build emotional resiliency by teaching us how to anticipate, trust, and cope with anxiety.
Ironically, as we grow older, the same game also becomes a metaphor for avoidance.
A monster in the closet.
An emotion that rises from a scene on TV.
A conversation we don’t want to have.
A number we don’t want to see.
We often avoid the things that overwhelm us. And overwhelm can come from fear, lack of clarity, or even shame over our circumstances.
But here’s the truth: avoiding your bank account doesn’t make the problem disappear. It keeps your nervous system stuck in uncertainty and apprehension.
Here’s another truth: avoidance isn’t laziness. It’s a coping mechanism.
People avoid their finances for many different reasons, but playing peek-a-boo with your money is a slippery slope.
Most of the time, it starts with something like:
“I can’t fix this today, so I won’t look at it.”
Then, in an effort not to fall behind, we hustle, hustle, hustle.
But there’s always that creeping thought that you might end up in a situation you can’t get out of.
So we don’t check in, because we know it’s bad. And then we hustle harder.
And somewhere between the anxiety of constant bad news and the fear of crushing debt, we get lost.
Finding a way out becomes harder than it was before… because now you don’t even know where to begin.
And before you know it, you’ve slipped from stability into survival mode.
As if the reality of your situation wasn’t stressful enough, now there’s also the monster of uncertainty.
Does that sound familiar?
Avoidance doesn’t remove the stressor. And it doesn’t give you a safe baseline to reset to.
It keeps you hypervigilant—always waiting for the next piece of bad news.
And that waiting… that constant low-grade anxiety… is what keeps cortisol pumping through your system. It makes it hard to make decisions. It scatters your thoughts. It creates brain fog. It drains your energy.
Improper coping techniques can easily trap you in survival mode.
Avoidance is a costly thief—because it steals your peace in more ways than one.
There is the emotional cost: the shame cycle that comes with feeling out of control and constantly needing to “start over.”
And there is the financial cost: late fees, overdraft charges, credit damage, and lost opportunities.
So how do you break free? How do you stop playing the avoidance game?
I’m going to give you four gentle tips to help you interrupt this cycle and reset your mindset around money.
But before I share them, take a deep cleansing breath.
Really exaggerate your inhale… then sigh out your exhale.
Do that three times.
Now here’s the reframe:
Checking on my finances keeps my nervous system safe. Managing my money is not punishment. It is a tool that protects my stability and supports my elevation.
Take another deep breath.
4 Tips to Stop Avoiding Your Finances
1. Keep It Simple: Balance, Track, and Set Goals
A good money management system includes three things: balancing, tracking, and goal setting.
An easy way to start is by choosing one task for each category that can be done in 10–15 minutes.
For me, those tasks look like this:
adding due dates and bill amounts to my calendar
tallying my spending at the end of every week
reflecting at the end of the month and setting intentions for the next
Small structure creates long-term stability.
2. Create a Money Check-In Ritual
Create a check-in ritual that gives you space to gain clarity around your finances.
Whenever I do my money tasks, I almost always have:
a certain playlist playing
incense or a candle burning
something hydrating nearby (tea, smoothie, fruit-infused water)
This may sound simple, but it matters.
Because your nervous system responds to your environment.
And your environment can make difficult habits feel safer.
3. Choose Three Days to Commit to Wealth
Instead of trying to do everything at once, choose three separate days where you commit just 10–15 minutes to building stability.
Using my system as an example:
I do my balancing and calendar work on the first day of the month
I keep my receipts and do a quick tally at the end of each week
I use the last weekend of the month to reflect and plan for what’s next
Breaking it up makes it sustainable.
4. Celebrate the Win of Being Present
Money management can feel heavy—even if you’re “good” with money. So when you show up and do the work, you should celebrate that. Especially if it was hard.
When I celebrate small wins, I do something that restores me, motivates me, or reinforces the identity I’m creating.
For me, after budgeting work, I usually restore myself:
a walk outside if the weather permits
a tv show and a foot soak
a moment of stillness and fresh air
Because stability is not built through punishment. It’s built through consistency.
Budgeting is often the first step in building a sustainable Wealth Alignment System.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be consistent.
If this post resonated with you, let this be your reminder:
Awareness is a form of self-care, and consistency is how stability is built.
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